MINDFUL STRESS RELIEF
A science-backed way to relax
Why is it so hard to unwind after work?
“Just relax.” Who hasn’t heard this well-meaning advice that sometimes feels more like a slap in the face? As if it was that easy. Instead, I find myself pacing restlessly. And since I can’t relax, I might as well get some things done, tick off some boxes:
- Unloaded the dishwasher.
- Vacuumed.
- Sent the car paperwork.
- Worked out.
And relaxation? – “Once this project is done. Then I’ll take a break.”
But when did relaxation turn into a carrot dangling just out of reach? When did it turn into nothing more than a thought, a hope for a better future? A future that steals the magic of this present moment. The birds chirping outside the window. The last rays of sunlight breaking through before night falls. The joke my partner has told me a hundred times before.
The hidden stress behind always "being on"
But there’s this pressure—the urge to keep going, to do more, right now. Thoughts about the next project. The fear that it won’t be finished in time. Or that it won’t be good enough. Something might go wrong. No, better keep moving—how could I relax anyway?
And what does it even mean to switch off and relax? What conditions need to be met? Most people would say: The pressure has to be gone, and the mind needs to be quiet. Then we can relax. With this definition, probably about three times a year.
But what if we could relax into the pressure? What if we could switch off while the thoughts are still racing, while we feel restless, while we feel driven?
Mindfulness for stress relief: How to switch off even when you can’t
Relaxation happens when we are present. And often, we don’t want that—because we don’t like what’s here right now. But, as one of my meditation teachers always says: “Present moment means present moment. Not pleasant moment.” It can be this moment, with all the thoughts and emotions running through us.
We can switch off when we stop chasing the perfect moment. Because the perfect moment is now. Right now. Not a second later—that’s just an illusion.
When we’re willing to feel that tightness in our stomach while laughing at our partner’s joke. When we notice thoughts about work while enjoying the last sunlight. When we allow ourselves to experience rather than fix—to be alive in the beautiful, messy reality of being human.
How to stay present without getting overwhelmed by stress
When riding the wave of emotions, tensions, and thoughts after work, subtle yet significant shifts in awareness make all the difference.
You might hear “just experience the emotions and thoughts” and think, Does that mean I should succumb to them? Become an emotional mess? Get lost in the intensity? Of course not. The key is to acknowledge what’s happening—fully, consciously—without letting it take over. Once you’ve recognized it, you can gently shift your attention elsewhere.
At this point, you might wonder, So should I suppress everything instead? Stuff it down and force myself to relax? Again, no. Acknowledgment is the opposite of suppression.
Beyond mental loops and suppression: Finding balance, finding rest
The mind often swings between these two extremes—drowning in emotions or pushing them away. But balance lies in the middle, in the space where we can witness emotions without being consumed by them. That’s where true relaxation begins.
This balance—between acknowledging and letting go—isn’t something we achieve once and for all. It’s a practice, a skill we develop over time. The next time you feel the pressure to keep going, pause and take a mental note of what’s there: pressure, restlessness, exhaustion. Then, fully immerse yourself in whatever you are doing. Feel the warmth of the tea in your hands, the heat flowing down your throat, the rise and fall of your breath.
Maybe, just for a moment, you can switch off. And maybe you’ll do it again in the next moment, and the next, and the next. Until one day, the pressure simply doesn’t arise anymore.
The science behind it: How mindfulness rewires the stress response
I find it fascinating: every time we make this mental shift, even for just a moment, we’re reshaping our brain—weakening old neural pathways and building new ones.
Neuroscience shows that simple mindfulness exercises like this strengthen the brain’s capacity for emotional regulation and resilience. Over time, what once felt like an automatic stress response starts to soften. The urge to always be “on” loosens its grip. Without forcing anything, our brain simply learns a new way to be. And then, one day, we realize: we have a choice. What a relief!